Day 165 - Weekend is Free and Clear

For the first time in I don't know HOW LONG... I have a weekend coming up that is free and clear of FOOD DANGER ZONES... I get to eat all my meals at home this weekend! We do have a Halloween Party on Saturday night, but it starts at 8pm (so I will eat at home before I go)... and I won't drink because I will be the designated driver anyway... other than that, I get to have my regular meals.

This is great, because for about the next 6 weeks after that, we have something on every single weekend. Next weekend is a biggie - a Fall Dinner Dance related to my husband's work. We usually go to a Pre-Dinner party in somebody's hotel room (lots of yummy appetizers), a gourmet 4 course dinner at the event (with unlimited booze)... then we stay over at the hotel and go out for Sunday brunch the next day... That one will be REALLY hard to navigate!!

Then there are other countless Christmas Parties and Events coming up over the next few weeks. And my husband and I have a gift certificate for a dinner for two at a fancy restaurant that he was given last year as a gift from a work contact. It expires at Christmas... so we have to use it before we leave for New Zealand... YIKES!!!

My eats from yesterday were pretty good. I am finding it really hard to get my calories up. I feel like I am eating ALL day long, and then I sit down at the computer around 9pm and figure it all about and I'm usually under 1500. I want to be eating closer to 1600 (so that I average at about 1700 after the weekends). But it's 9pm, and I just finished dinner, and I don't really like eating just for the sake of it right before I go to bed...

Day 164 - Holy Moly! Another Vacation!

So my husband is being sent to a work conference in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico and I have the opportunity to go with him for a week at the end of January!!

Awesome! Right? What could possibly be the problem?

OK, obviously I'm not expecting anyone to feel sorry for me....BUT...here's the thing.... you know that 4 week long vacation in New Zealand that is causing me so much stress? The one where I will be eating in restaurants and hotels three meals a day?? Well, I'll get back from New Zealand and I'll have ONE WEEK to get back on track with my routine and then I'll be off to Mexico where: (1) I'm probably going to want to wear a BIKINI and (2) We will be staying at a 5 star all inclusive resort where the food looks fantastic and the drinks are free...

YIKES! This just makes it even more imperative to me that I don't gain weight in New Zealand!! And it is really adding to my stress level... Good new is, that if I can make it through these 5 weeks of vacation unscathed (I am defining unscathed as 5lbs or LESS of weight gain or not going over 130lbs) than I think I can do ANYTHING!

Here is my food from yesterday... I tried a new morning cereal. It's called "Red River Hot Cereal"... the only ingredients are Wheat, Rye and Flax. It has no added sugar, low sodium, 6g of fibre and 6g of protein per serving, and only 150 calories and 3 grams of fat! I was worried because it looked a little like birdseed, but it was really good, the flax seeds stayed crunchy and rest was smooth and creamy! I cooked it in almond milk and added my usual mashed banana and 2 tsp of molasses. It kept me STUFFED until lunch. It's a KEEPER!

I dipped below my "RED LINE" this morning on the scale.... 124.8, so I am going up my calories to an average of 1700 a day...

Day 163 - Halloween is More Fun at Goal Weight

Every year my friends throw a big costume party at Halloween, and every year, the thought of trying to figure out a costume that wouldn't make me look HUGE filled me with DREAD.

So this year, I was totally and seriously tempted to dress up in something really scandalous and skimpy for Halloween... I mean in the total history of Halloween for me, I'm not sure I've ever been in good enough shape to pull of some skimpy French Maid/Cheerleeder etc costume without looking ridiculous. So, I'm thinking - why not now? I've earned it, right?

So, I went out shopping to a Halloween store and I could NOT believe how slutty 90% of the adult women's costume's were... and I thought...NOPE, NOT FOR ME, NO THANK YOU...

I will still wear something that shows off my figure (e.g. I won't be dressing up as a pumpkin)... but I don't want to look like a tart either...

My idea is for my husband to go as a Magician (cape, top hat, magic wand) and for me to go as a bunny. But the bunny costumes at the store were all "a la playboy bunny"... so all I bought was a set of bunny ears and a white tail. Maybe I will wear them with white shorts, white tights and a white t-shirt..??

Yesterday, I discovered a new amazing snack... it was so good. For 150 calories, I had 2 ryvita crisps with 1 wedge of laughing cow cheese spread on them and then 10 grapes which I sliced in half and arranged on top of the cheese. I also tried a new recipe in my crockpot for dinner. It was sweet potato chili (vegetarian night at our house). Since I had a vegetarian dinner, I had some turkey breast in my grilled sandwich at lunch, it was a nice change...

I've also decided to add my daily exercise at the bottom of my food chart. Just the minutes, not the calories burned (because I don't eat them all back...)

Day 162 - What I am doing differently this time

First off, I just wanted to report that my weight is back down to normal this morning following the weekend (125.6)... not that I was really worried about it, but getting used to those fluctuations that come as a result of eating a little more every once in a while is one of the hardest parts of weight loss maintenance (for me, anyway...)

If you've been following my blog, you'll know that this is not the first time I have successfully reached my goal weight. And it's pretty early in the game (43 days since hitting goal)... too early for me to confidently declare that THIS time I'm not gaining the weight back.

BUT, I do feel differently this time. 43 days, believe it or not, is longer than I have ever made it before. I tried to sit down and really analyze what I've done this time that was different from the previous times.

1. I am making better food choices: I find that this time around, I am eating like I am still on a diet... I am just eating more. Let me explain. For example, last Thursday night I had an omelet for dinner. I used egg beaters, light cheese, 1 tsp olive oil, lots of veggies. This is EXACTLY the same way I would have prepared my omelet when I was trying to lose weight. But because I am not trying to lose weight, I also added: one slice of whole wheat toast with light butter and sugar free jam, two slices of peameal bacon and a small side salad with no dressing... it was a lot of food. In the past, once I reached maintenance, I would have given myself "license" to make my omelet the "old way"...e.g. real eggs, more cheese, more add ins and more butter/oil for frying. But that would drastically increase the calories in my omelet without increasing the AMOUNT of food that I got to eat... so I would still add side dishes and the end result would be WAY too much of an increase...

2. I am staying in control: Not once since I have been on maintenance this time, have I let one bad meal turn into an entire day/weekend/week of bad meals. This past weekend was a perfect example. I ate too much Saturday night, but it was OK, because I didn't binge when I got home, and I went right back to my normal eating on Sunday. I have gotten much better at just forgiving myself and moving on with it... this is a biggie!!

3. I am not treating every event as a special occassion: It seems like my husband and I always have something on, each weekend (a dinner with friends, wedding, party etc) and I now understand that they are just "meals" and cannot all be excuses to overindulge. So, I will "scan" a month out and see all what occassions I have coming up (we have a lot in November), and they can't all be splurges, so I decide WAY in advance which ones I will treat like regular meals, and which ones can be splurges. And when I say "splurge" that means, a bun from the breadbasket and a dessert - NOT a crazy pigout!

4. I have been weighing myself EVERY day: This is all about refusing to pull the wool over my own eyes! Even when I am pretty sure I will be "up" because I overate at dinner the night before. No excuses, no denial. Just face it, and move on...

Those are the biggies. I mean sure there are other things I am doing... like sticking to my exercise and my proven routine and "go to meals" monday to friday. I follow my food rules almost religiously. I let myself have the treats, for example, every Sunday morning for breakfast, I have toast with butter and jam and scrambled eggs and I look forward to that ALL week long.

Here is my food from yesterday. I was inspired by Finding Radiance to try an egg sandwich on waffles for breakfast and boy was it good! My kids loved them too. It kept me pretty full until lunch (not quite as full as oatbran or oatmeal, but full enough!).

Day 161 - Did I Slip Up?

I'm up about one pound after the weekend... did I slip up? I don't really think so. I have to keep reminding myself, that I'm not actually on a DIET anymore...I can relax just a bit!

Remember the plan that I talked about on Friday for my Italian Restaurant meal? Well, I really did TRY to stick to it... and it kind of makes me angry when you do everything possible to order the healthiest meal, and then the waiter puts it down in front of you, and its covered in cheese, or has a cream sauce that wasn't mentioned on the menu!! I should probably start sending stuff like that back, but I don't like to be difficult... especially when we are out with other people.

First off, I ended up having a piece of bread from the bread basket... I hadn't intended to, but it's usually my favorite part of meal out and a treat that I THOUGHT would be OK... and it would have been, if the rest of my dinner had been what I was expecting!! I ordered the shrimp cocktail which on the menu said "traditional shrimp cocktail with horseradish sauce". I assumed I would get the red cocktail sauce they usually serve with this dish. I got a mayonnaise based sauce, and it was dumped over the shrimp and the lettuce, not served on the side for dipping. The seafood linguini was drizzle with oil - LOTS of it, I could tell... and I had one glass of red wine.

All in all it wasn't the end of the world. When we got home, my husband left to drive the sitter home, and I thought to myself... In the past, I would have gone and ate a whole bunch of crap/chocolate/peanut butter/cookies right now, since he's not here to see me, and I had already "messed the day up anyway"... but I didn't this time, I wasn't even tempted, and I consider that a small victory.

I was 2 lbs up Sunday morning, and 1 lb up this morning. I'm sure I'll even back out the rest of the week.

The thing that REALLY worries me about this experience is this: what does this mean for my 4 week trip to New Zealand in December?? I will be eating three meals a day in restaurants. When you have one bad meal a week in a restaurant, its not a big deal because you go back to your usual routine the next day, and it doesn't stay with you. But I won't have the opportunity to go back to my regular routine for a MONTH... and obviously even when I TRY to make the very best choices in restaurants, it doesn't always turn out as expected!!

Anyway...not a big deal this past weekend, but I am really stressed about New Zealand...

Here is what I ate yesterday (on Sunday)... I ate a little less than usual to compensate, and I ran a 10km (and shaved 10sec off my previous 10km race, I did it in 50:33).

Day 158 - My Sense of Calm

I am finding that as time goes on, my sense of calm and my confidence in being able to maintain this weight loss is growing. For example, I have two meals out this weekend. I am eating out for lunch today with a friend at a Thai Noodle house, and tomorrow night, we are going out to dinner with my Parents and my brother and his girlfriend at an Italian Restaurant (their restaurant choice).

In the past, this would have gotten me into a HUGE panic... but not now. I know that today at lunch I can make an OK choice, and if I don't, I will scale back my dinner to compensate. For the Italian Restaurant, I have already scoured the menu and made my choices. At first I was disapointed that they don't have any grilled fish, or plain grilled chicken with vegetables on the menu. But, you know what, it's OK I can work with what they have. I have two plans depending on my mood when I get there...

Plan A: Appetizer - Shrimp Cocktail; Dinner - Vegetarian Pizza (ask for reduced cheese and take half the pizza home).

Plan B: Appetizer - Mixed Green Salad (dressing on the side); Dinner - Seafood Linquini in a Red Pepper and Tomato Sauce (eat all the seafood and about 1 cup of the pasta).

See how easy it is? I guarantee, whichever Plan I choose, I will enjoy my dinner because (a) even though it won't be the most caloric thing on the menu, it will still be GOOD, (b) I didn't have to cook it myself!! (c) I won't have to do dishes and (d) I will enjoy the atmosphere and the company of my family!!

Here is what I ate yesterday, my husband had a dinner engagement, so I enjoyed breakfast food for dinner (my favorite!)...

Day 157 - Motivation to Run

I find that as the evenings grow colder, and darker... it is getting harder and harder to find the motivation to get out for a run.

I have been trying to run right after work, before dinner when it is still bright outside. But, sometimes (like yesterday) I just couldn't do it, because I was too hungry. I'm a real wimp when it comes to exercising on an empty stomach...

So, I had to eat dinner and THEN go for my run after. By 7pm it was dark, and chilly and raining. But, I did it (8km, 45 minutes) and once I got home, I felt great and I was so glad I went. I don't think anything ever felt as good as peeling off my wet running clothes and getting in the hot shower, but MAN OH MAN, was it ever hard to get myself out there to begin with... I bribed myself with a snack (if I run, I can have a bedtime snack, and if I don't run... I have to skip it!)

Makes me wonder how I'll do when it's minus 20C and there is snow on the ground... I've already gone out and spent quite a bit of money on some proper winter running gear, so hopefully that investment will provide a little motivation...

Here is my food yesterday. Yes, I put baby good (pureed prunes) in my morning oatmeal... it was very good!

Day 156 - Charting Progress

I love creating little charts and gizmos to record and track my progress, and I could spend countless hours doing so (it's OK, it's time well spent...I could be EATING instead!!). I have created the line graph below to illustrate my weight fluctuations since I hit maintenance.

The red line on the chart represents my danger zone weight (130), if I touch that line, my plan is to go back into diet mode until I'm below. The blue line is my actual weight, see it going up and down? The green line is the "trend line". According to this "trend line", if I continue to eat and excercise as I have been, on December 16, 2012, I will weigh ZERO. I might have to buy another new wardrobe...

Seriously, though I really don't want to dip below 125... (I should add another red line on my chart at 125)... everytime I hit that line, I increase my calories to adjust...

Day 155 - My Calorie Intake

It occured to me, that since I always post my food diary each weekday, but I almost never get around to doing so on the weekends, it probably LOOKS like I eat far fewer calories than I do, and my diet must look pretty boring - same thing day in, day out. Right now, I am targeting an AVERAGE of about 1600 per day over the week, but Monday to Friday, I stay a little shy of that target, which lets me go a little OVER the target on the weekends.

So, instead of showing yesterday's food chart (which is pretty much like EVERY other one that I put up), I will show Sunday's.

For lunch on Sunday, I made a grilled sandwich in my panini press. I tried something new (e.g. not my "go to" avocado, tomato and laughing cow)... this sandwich combination was FABULOUS! I used sourdough bread. On one slice I spread apple butter, on the other I spread laughing cow. Then I added some roast turkey breast meat and threw it in my panini press (sprayed with cooking spray), until it was all hot and melty. Wow - good!

We also had roast beef for dinner on Sunday - a rare treat. I try to limit red meat to once a week or so (and I usually end up using my red meat quota for "hamburger night" during the week)...

Day 154 - A Personal Best

Had a really great weekend!

On Saturday night, we went to a wedding... I did very well at the dinner. The food really wasn't that good, so it wasn't too hard. I intended to skip the bread basket, but I was starving and it looked very good. The rolls were small and I had one with one of those little plastic containers of butter (how much are in those anyway?? a tsp? 2 tsps?).

In the end, I was glad I had the bread, because it turned out to be the ONLY good thing they served us. The salad was boring and PRE-DRESSED (which I hate) with bottled dressing. My heart sank when the main course came out and it was a chicken breast smothered in cream sauce (with carrots, cauliflower and mashed potatoes). I ate all the veggies, but there weren't many. The chicken breast was huge, and dry and I scraped all the sauce off. I only ate the half the chicken, which was my normal serving size of meat... I was still hungry because normally I would eat two or three times that many vegetables!

Dessert was wedding cake with buttercream frosting, which I skipped without a moment's hesitation. The only thing was that I had to turn down dessert, not once but FOUR times. They plunked one in front of me and I passed it to my son, then they came and tried to give me another one (I said no thank you)... twice more they tried to serve me cake... LOL, it's a good thing I wasn't tempted!! I didn't have any wine because I was running a race Sunday morning....

Which brings me to the title of this post. I ran in a 10km race on Sunday morning. I did it in 50:43!! I came in THIRD PLACE in my age group... and 8th place out of all the women (88 women in total) and I came in 28th place overall (out of 126, including the men). I can't even describe how happy I was with those results. Racing is addictive. It's quite the rush!

I have a nice looking week ahead of me... no occassions or possible screw ups until Saturday night (going out for dinner)...

Day 150 - Nothing Fits Me!

When I got to a certain level in my weight loss... I just had to go out and buy some new things, because everything (especially my work clothes) was just way too baggy and sloppy looking. So when I was in the high 130's I went out and bought a whole bunch of size 8 things, thinking that would be my final size.

All that size 8 clothing is now sloppy and baggy looking... I am really mad at myself for not waiting a little longer to buy everything (I could have just bought one or two things to tide me over...). Now I don't really feel like I can go out and buy a whole new wardrobe AGAIN... but it's starting to feel a little desperate. My clothes are very loose. I will have to replace things more slowly this time. My highest priority is a new pair of black dress pants for work.

Unfortunately, I also need to replace my running shoes (I've been running in the same ones since May, and I've logged well over 500km in them), I also need to outfit myself for winter running, because it's starting to get cold here (insulated running tights, a long sleeved tech shirt, a shell, thin/warm hat and gloves, some merino running socks that come higher up my ankles...). All that running gear won't come cheap either...

Anyway, I'm including below my food from yesterday, but also my excel spreadsheet that I use to track... well just about everything except my body temperature... :-) It's small but you can click on it for a clearer view...

Day 149 - One Month Mainteversary

Well, it has been exactly one month since I officially declared "maintenance". On September 14, I weighed 129.0 and made the official switch from weight loss to weight maintenance.

Since then, I have upped my calories twice until I arrived at an average of about 1550 a day (averaged over the week, so some days higher, a few lower). For the last 10 days or so, I've seen my weight level off (in the 126-127 area), so I stopped increasing. I told myself that if I ever dipped below 126, I would increase the calories again.

All of the sudden this morning, without warning, I weighted 125.0, (I got off the scale and back on again to make sure it wasn't malfunctioning). It was a big drop, here's the last few days (which included a big turkey dinner and lots of leftovers!)

SAT 126.6
SUN 126.4
MON 126.6
TUES 126.6 .... very consistent.... and THEN....
WED 125.0 !!!

My husband says, will you just start EATING?!? LOL, never thought I'd have this problem! I suspect that each time I increase my calories, it just takes a while for my body to adjust (because when I was eating in a deficit, my metabolism slowed accordingly)... now I'm getting the metabolism fire stoked again, it just takes a while to adjust to each increase.

So, I am officially increasing my target to 1600 per day (yeah!)...

Here's yesterday... I made a big pot of turkey soup in the crockpot. It was delicious, I added kidney beans, black beans, lentils, carrots, turnip, cauliflower, brussel sprouts and potato to the stock with about 2 cups of leftover shredded turkey meat. I calculated the calories as best I could at 1800 for the pot (contained 16 cups of soup)... it was really a guessing game - how many calories are in homemade stock?? I refridgerated the stock overnight, so I could skim the fat off... I saved myself 300 calories for my bowl of soup, but when I sat down after and figured it all out, my portion was only 189? Oops, I could have had seconds!! Hate it when that happens! It filled my up, so I guess it's OK...

Husband is out tonight at a business function, so I am making Croque Monsieurs for me and the kids.... can't wait! It's one of my favorites!!

Day 147 - No Turkey Coma Here!

Just a quick post today to say that I had a fabulous Thanksgiving Weekend, and to report my findings on holiday weekends. My findings are that it IS possible to enjoy your holiday without (a) eating yourself into a coma or (b) making the entire holiday focus around food...

I had a wonderful Turkey dinner on Sunday night. I had turkey, (white meat, no skin) gravy, a small scoop of dressing and steamed brussel sprouts, potatoes, carrots and cauliflower. For dessert I made a light pumpkin tofu mousse and some pumpkin swirl brownies (I had some mousse and one small brownie). And I had a glass of wine and 3 mini quiche appetizers before dinner.

On Monday morning, I weighed myself and I was 126.6, which was EXACTLY the same as the day before. I was so pleased. I had a fairly generous thanksgiving dinner (more than I usually eat, but not an insane amount)... and WINE, and and APPETIZER, and a BROWNIE... and I weighed exactly the same the next morning.

This. Was. Fabulous.

Then last night, we had hot turkey sandwiches with leftovers (I made mine on a small whole wheat hamburger bun) with all the same side dishes and more of the pumpkin tofu mousse for dessert. And this morning 126.6 (Again!)...

Wow.

Day 144 - Family Night Out

The last time I lost weight and successfully reached my goal, I decided that we would start having Family Night Out every Friday. The idea was that, since I was at goal, I could afford to go out to dinner once a week and have whatever I wanted. This was probably true, but what happened was that it used to turn into an entire weekend of overeating. I'd get back on track Monday, but by Monday I'd have to go back into "diet mode" to reverse the damage, and then the next weekend it would start all over again. Obviously, I gained the weight back.

So this time, when I reached my goal weight, my husband (very eagerly) asked if we were going to have Family Night Out again. Well, I feel sort of bad for depriving them, but I just don't think it's a good idea. I don't mind going out once in a while, but there always seems to be other things on (business trips, parties, weddings, dinners with friends) that cause mini splurges and to add ANOTHER regular night out each week might be more than I can handle. So, I said "no" to regular family night, but that we should look at each week as it comes and if there are no other occassions (and I'm maintaining my new weight OK), THEN we can go out for dinner.

And so... we are going out tonight! Yes, I know this weekend is Thanksgiving in Canada, but that's not really a splurge for me. I'm hosting my family this year, and it will be turkey (breast meat with no skin for me) with steamed vegetables (potato, carrots, cauliflower and brussel sprouts) and a light dessert (pumpkin mousse made with silken tofu)...so it's just a regular meal, really...

Tonight we are taking the kids to Mucho Burrito. This a mexican fast food chain (I think similar to Baja Fresh? in the States). A small chicken burrito is about 600 calories and 12 grams of fat. That should allow me to stay within my calories for the day no problem. I just hope the small fills me up (in the past I'd have ordered a medium for closer to 800 calories...)

Yesterday, I had smoked salmon and cream cheese on a bagel for lunch - it was really good (having it again today)...

Day 143 - Having Bizarre Dreams

The last two nights in a row, I have had some very strange dreams.

I dreamt that I was binging. My dreams were soooo vivid, I can't even describe how vivid. The first night, I dreamt that I was baking some banana chocolate cupcakes for the kids and I had made an "icing" by combining cream cheese, peanut butter, honey and brown sugar (not a bad recipe invention for a dream!).... and for some reason I had an entire bowl of icing leftover, so I started making thick slices of toast and buttering them and then spreading this icing on them and eating them. Then I made more, and ate them. It was so good. Then I made more.... I felt bad... really guilty... then I heard my husband coming into the kitchen and I threw the last slice into the garbage (my heart was pounding)... this dream felt so real, I was berating myself in my dream "What are you doing? You are going to be up 5lbs in the morning!!"... the guilt felt so real...

Last night, I had a similar dream.... only this time it was fresh chocolate chip cookies warm out of the oven with milk....tons of them!

Both nights when I woke up and realized it was only a dream and I hadn't actually done that, I felt SOOOO relieved.

I wonder what this means?

Here's my food from yesterday (no toast with peanut butter icing or warm chocolate chip cookies to be found!!)... but I did make a really nice "lightened up" Sloppy Joe recipe with ground turkey and fresh tomatoes.

Day 142 - One. Hundred. And. Forty. Two. Wow.

One hundred and forty two days... it sounds like a lot, but it's not. It's only 20 weeks, or about 5 months of consistent healthy habits. When you think about it, I've got to keep this up for about 15,330 more days (I figure when I hit 80, I'll "let myself go" and start eating what I want again... LOL).

15,330 days, is anyone else depressed yet? Sorry to be a downer, but I was eating my healthy bowl of oatbran this morning for breakfast, and don't get me wrong - it was delicious with almond milk, mashed banana and a bit of molasses and sliced almonds on top... but I looked across the table at my husband who had four thick slices of lovely sourdough toast with butter and creamed honey on two and butter and molasses on the other two.... and I thought, that is my dream breakfast! I did a quick mental calculation of the calories... (roughly 700-800). My husband never seems to gain an ounce, and I thought, boy.... life is unfair!

But it's OK, really, I've only got about 15,300 days to go.... then I can go crazy with the sourdough toast slathered with butter and molasses and honey.... I can hardly wait... :-)

Here's my eats from yesterday:

Day 141 - Vacation Anxiety

In the past, I have always had trouble controlling my eating on vacations. I remember three years ago we went on our annual two week family vacation to Belize (where we usually go every year) and I was at a fairly low weight. I came back 20lbs heavier! Yes, you read that right! I pigged out like nobody's business...and I never got back to my healthy eating after the vacation, so I got to keep the 20lbs as a souvenir (lucky me!).

The next year in Belize, I really tried to so better, but there is so much good food down there. I tend to get that, "I'm not going to be able to have this again for another WHOLE YEAR", attitude... I came home 10lbs heavier that year.

This tendency of mine is the reason that I get a panicky feeling everytime I think about our upcoming vacation. On Dec 16 we leave for a MONTH LONG vacation to New Zealand! A MONTH... do you have any idea how much damage a MONTH of eating three meals a day out might cause?!?

My husband's sister lives in Auckland, so we will be staying with her for a week at Christmas. She is not slim and learned to cook from my mother-in-law (translation: loads of butter, cream, whole milk, cheese etc)... and then we will be travelling around the country for three weeks eating in RESTAURANTS!

Luckily - I will have almost three months of maintenance under my belt before I go, so maybe I will be more attuned to exactly how much I can eat. But it will be really hard to count calories and monitor my weight!

Readers might have noticed that I like to make lists, so here is a list of some of the strategies I am going to TRY to use in New Zealand... if you can think of anything else that might help me out, I'm open to suggestions/advice:

1. Keep a food journal. even though I can't count the calories precisely, writing it all down and guestimating calories will help with accountability.

2. Measure portions. I have a portable food scale, I will bring that and use it to measure calorie dense things, (even in restaurants!) who cares what people think!

3. Monitor my weight. I will figure out a way... I will find places to weigh myself, or I will bring a measuring tape and take my measurements once a week, and I will fit into the same clothes on the way home that I wore on the way there!

4. Try to eat like home. In restaurants I will have: no appetizers, no desserts, and no alcohol (with maybe a once or twice a week exception to one of those... just like home). I will keep 2 of my three meals a day meat-less... just like home.

5. Don't go overboard. At home, if I have a splurge, I can recover by going back to my plan the next day. Any splurges on vacation will probably stay with me until I get home. So, I will keep my breakfasts light (cereal, toast, oatmeal)... those things are usually available in coffee shops, and I can't succumb to big egg/bacon breakfasts just because they are there! At dinner, I will order one meal and split it with my 6 year old. If it isn't enough food we can always order MORE after (e.g. a side salad to share). This will also help keep costs down too!

6. Eat healthy. When you are eating out a lot, consumption of fruits and vegetables always seems to be lacking, so I will try not to let this happen (e.g. I will stop at grocery stores for fruit to snack on, and maybe have salads with no dressing for my lunches...)

7. No french fries. Will they really be any better in New Zealand? I doubt it.

8. Excercise. This is the most important. Bring my running shoes and RUN, everyday... it will be a great way to see different cities and the weather will be great! I will also have to try to do some weight training (push ups, sit ups) whenever I can.

Funny, I am most worried about the week in Auckland when we will be house guests. In restaurants I can be picky and order things to my liking. But, I don't want to be an ungrateful/difficult houseguest. What if they serve me whole milk to put on sugary cereal? What if they serve dessert everynight? What if they butter vegetables, and put cream in everything? I won't get my almond milk, or my grapefruit, or my vegetarian sandwiches at lunch :-( I am obviously a creature of habit and routine, and being away from that makes me nervous!

Whenever I mention this "vacation anxiety" to anyone, they respond with something like, "You're on VACATION, you shouldn't worry about it!!"... well that might be OK when your vacation is a weekend, or a week. But when it's a month? Nobody seems to understand...

Sigh - anyway, this post has grown to be way longer than I originally intended. I am sure I will write more about my trip in the coming two months before we leave. Here is my eating yesterday. Again, I was low in calories, but too stuffed to eat anything more... I went for a really easy/slow 5km run (31 minutes).

Day 140 - Restaurants can be Frustrating Places!

I weighed in this morning and my weight is holding steady. I was 126.6.

On Friday night, my husband and I went out with a group of friends to an Italian Restaurant. There were 14 of us for dinner. I had gone on-line and planned out my dinner from the restaurant website and I felt good, I had a solid plan!! I ate my regular breakfast and lunch, and I went out for a 10km run after work, to help burn off some calories in advance...

When it came time to order my dinner, I had a moment of extreme temptation (I was really tempted by a pasta dish on the specials board that had italian sausage and goat cheese and pinenuts)...BUT, I am proud to say I stuck with my original plan and felt good once I put in my order.

When I gave my order I did it discreetly with the waitress. I ordered a side salad to start (mixed greens and tomatoes) with a wedge of lime instead of dressing (I actually like squirting a wedge of lemon or lime on my salad instead of dressing!). For dinner I ordered a vegetarian pizza with just a "sprinkle" of mozzarella and a glass of white wine. WELL.... when they brought everyone else's meal out mine was missing. The manager comes over and says, "When your pizza came out it still had too much mozzarella for my liking so I sent it back and asked the kitchen to do it again!" I found this a little strange (I mean it was nice and all) but just thought it was funny that he was judging how much mozzarella I wanted (??). Then all my friends started asking, "is there a problem??".... "did they mess up your food".... I said - "no no, it's ok, but it's going to be a few more minutes so please everyone start, I don't want yours to get cold"...

THEN, the waitress comes out, and says LOUDLY so the whole table can hear, "I'm so sorry, I wrote "light cheese" on the order, but I guess they put more than you wanted." I mutter, "it's fine"....

THEN, the girl filling our water glasses makes a comment, "don't worry, your LIGHT pizza will be up soon"!

One of my friends then chimes in.... "LIGHT PIZZA??? You aren't on a DIET are you?".... I say, NO NO, I just don't like tons of cheese on my pizza, so I asked for less, I didn't realize it would cause the whole restaurant to go in a tizzy!!

I finally got my pizza, and there was just the perfect amount of cheese and it was delicious, it was a 12" thin crust and I ate half (my husband had the rest for lunch on Sunday). I just got very upset that I tried to discreetly order something healthier and the restaurant staff completely "OUTS" me to everyone... this is not the first time this has happened to me....

Anyway, here is my food from yesterday (Sunday). The turkey soup for lunch was served at my bookclub meeting at a friends house, so I had to guess the amounts/calories. I also did a 16km run in the morning, which took about 1 hour and 45 minutes.

Day 137 - At What Point May I Declare Success?

Although I think it is still WAY too soon to declare success, I really feel like I have made good progress since I've switched my goal from weight loss to weight maintenance!

Here are some of the things I have noticed:

1. While I haven't gotten my calories EACH DAY up as high as I thought I would, I have had more "relaxed days" than I did before, which averages out...

2. In the 18 days since I've declared "maintenance" I have eaten an average of 1535 calories a day (with a high of 2642 and a low of 1221).

3. I get less stressed out about restaurant meals and special occassions. I've had a few now, and as long as I go back to normal the next meal, they haven't hurt me at all. I am also becoming more confident in my ability to have "reasonable indulgences"!!!

4. I haven't binged since Sept 7 (25 days and counting), and since I switched to maintenance I haven't felt an overwhelming urge to do so...

5. I still have days where I "feel" less thin than others - tummy bloat days, bad outfit days, and I still get a "food baby" when I overeat at one sitting.... BUT the scale says I'm still thin, so I just move on....

6. The scale fluctuates each day by 1-2 pounds or so.... I've noticed a trend that it goes down the day after a run and up the day after a rest day (probably fluids lost during my runs)...

7. Counting calories is my comfort zone and I'm not ready to leave it yet... maybe someday, but not yet...

8. Everyday gets just a little bit easier... soon it will be a piece of cake right??? ooooohhhhhhh caaaake.... (just kidding!)

Had the bean soup for dinner last night that we were supposed to have on Wednesday night... I had mine with a half serving of Tostitos "Scoops" chips, that I used to scoop up the soup... it was almost like eating nachos... yum! That was the sort of treat that isn't CRAZY, but I probably wouldn't have done it in weight loss.

Day 136 - Business Travel doesn't have to Spell Disaster

I was traveling on business yesterday... I flew to Toronto in the morning for a meeting and then back home for dinner. This usually means eating some dreadful meeting food (muffins, danishes, trays of sandwiches - sometimes good, sometimes not). But yesterday, my meeting was in an executive board room on the high floor of a bank head office and the food was incredible! Rather than buffet style, we were served our own individual plates of food with some assorted sandwiches and salads. I ate it all and it was delicious! I still consider it a good day because: (1) I ate breakfast at home and turned down the airplane breakfast, (2) I only took 2 cookies from the dessert tray and stopped there, (3) they were handing out packets of almonds and shortbread cookies on the plane on the way home, and I took 2 of each, but saved them in my purse! I'll give the cookies to the kids and divide the tamari almond packets into more reasonable servings sizes of about 150 calories each...

Before I left for the airport in the morning I put a big pot of black bean soup in the crockpot so we would have a nice light dinner waiting for us when I got home. I walked in the door at about 6:30... and the beans weren't cooked! They were still crunchy! I couldn't believe it, after all that time in the crock pot. I've made the recipe before, but this was the first time in a new crock pot, so maybe the low setting was lower?? I had been looking forward to the beans all day, and when I got home and they weren't ready, I had a panicky moment... what would we eat? I don't do well with no planning!!! I was REALLY tired from a long day of travelling and I *ALMOST* sent my husband out for takeout. But, I resisted and I threw together a quick back up of poached eggs on rye toast with tomato slices and sausage patties... It wasn't quite as low cal as the soup, but sure was better than Pizza Hut or KFC!!

No damage on the scale this morning! And the soup's back in the crock pot for tonight!