Day 13 - Challenges

I find that my biggest challenge is coping with having a social life and eating healthy. For me, the two don't happily co-exist. Yesterday, I had two events. First, I attended a baby shower, and then I had my in-laws over for dinner.

The baby shower was challenging because there was a big buffet style spread of food. Although all the food looked very healthy, it can still difficult when you are counting calories simply because you have no choice but to guess how many you are eating. Here is what I took from the buffet table: about 1/2 cup of couscous salad, about a cup of salad made with chopped apples, grapes, walnuts and sour cream, 2 little sections (about 2" long) of some wraps, one was chicken curry and the other was veggie and cream cheese, 4 strawberries, and 10 grapes. I ended up going back for 2 more sections of the wraps (It looked to me like each wrap was cut into 4-5 portions, so I probably had close to a full wrap myself).

I thought that I did pretty well, but when I got home and tried to add it all up, it came to over 600 calories! I might have over estimated the calories, but it's hard to know exactly how much oil was in the couscous salad, or if the waldorf type salad was made with fat free or regular sour cream. There was just no way to know.... in the past, this would have stressed me out. This time, I didn't let it get to me, I figured I can only worry about what I can control, and I can control my portion sizes! So that is what I did. I also skipped the dessert tray.

For dinner, I had my in-laws over. I was able, at least to have a little more control over the meal, but when I have guests, I feel bad about putting THEM on diets too. So I used a little more oil that I normally would have, and I served the meal with grilled pita wedges and hummus (which I skipped).

Here's what it all looked like:

Day 12 - One day at a Time

Yesterday was a good day. My husband came to meet me for lunch, but we went out for a healthy Japanese meal, at a place that has nutritional information available. I also managed to get our for a jog on my own, I ran for 30 minutes (intervals - 3 min jogging, 1 min walking). My distance was 3.8km.

Here was my food:

Day 11 - Can We Talk About Something Else?

Habitually, whenever I'm on a diet, I become completely consumed with the whole process. I usually end up talking my husbands ear off at every opportunity about anything and everything diet related. From...how many calories are in this or that...to how many pounds I've lost or am hoping to lose... to complaining about people feeding me things I'd rather not eat... I truly could go on forever on these topics. My husband is pretty good about all this, he listens and tries to pretend he's interested, but sometimes I see his eyes glaze over.

This time I am trying to do things a little differently. I am counting my calories, but trying to keep it to myself more (blog aside! LOL). I am trying not to talk constantly about health/fitness/nutrition etc. In fact, I don't even think he realizes that I've started my diet back up again. I think that's a good thing, because if I am going to make this a long term change, I can't obsess about it constantly.

I had a good day yesterday, but I didn't get out to exercise. I am planning to head out for a run tonight.

Day 10 - Urge to Go into Hiding

I often wonder what all my friends think about my constant weight fluctuations. They always compliment me, and encourage me when I am losing weight. But then they remain suspiciously silent when my weight starts to creep back up. Obviously, they must notice. You can't gain 40lbs on a 5'6" frame without people noticing.

Being at the upper end of my weight fluctuations usually makes me want to go into hiding and not deal with any of this. I have a baby shower coming up this weekend, and some of the people there haven't seen me since last summer when I was thin. Although I am excited to see everyone, I am also dreading this aspect.

Yesterday was another good day. I had running club from 6:30-7:30, so I had to eat on my own early, before the family. I might have ate too much dinner for a pre-run, I was a little uncomfortable during my run. Next time, I might try to split this into two smaller meals (one before and one after). This is hard for me though, I end up feeling like I never ate a proper dinner. I ran 4km in the rain (doing 3 minutes running, 1 minute walking) and then I had an hour of weight training with my personal trainer.

This was my food:

Day 9 - My Most Recent Success (HA!)

I am calling this "Day 9" because I actually started this diet on May 19, and have been doing pretty good so far. I've lost 7 pounds, but don't let that get you too excited, this always happens the first week on a new eating regime.

My most recent weight loss effort, previous to this, took place beginning March 15, 2008, I weighed 161 pounds. By June, I was feeling pretty good. By August, I weighted 127 pounds and I looked amazing. I was on track, things were feeling great. I thought for sure this time I had it all figured out. As I mentioned in my previous post, I accomplished this through calorie counting (I ate about 1200 per day in the first couple of months and then upped it to 1300-1400 until I reached my goal) and lots of calorie burning at the gym.

In September 2008, I went away on a three day business trip by myself. Eating three meals a day in a hotel room with no one to raise their eyebrows at the amount I was eating... and I ate a LOT! It was like I'd never tasted food before, after more than 6 months of super healthy eating. I came home feeling horrible and bloated, with my pants tight at the waist. I was afraid to step on the scale and address the damage.

The following weeks went something like this. Friday night out to a restaurant. Eat something bad. Weekend tailspin of bad eating. Monday morning start fresh and stay good until Friday night... repeat. This routine somehow kept me from gaining a ton of rapid weight, but it also held me back from losing the weight that I gained on my business trip.

Enter Christmas, and three solid weeks of completely senseless pigging out. Again, afraid to weigh myself. After Christmas, I tried at least 3 or 4 times to get myself re-started, but I just couldn't go very long without a relapse. Then we had our annual 2 week family vacation down south (no bikini this year). And here I am. I finally stepped on the scale last week. 168.8!! I nearly died. But there it is. It's a fact, and now I have to deal with it!!

So, I am back to the formula that has worked so well for me in the past, logging my food and counting my calories. I am aiming for 1300 calories per day, I will average my calories over the week, to allow more freedom for example, last week looked like this:













Most days, I will also post my food intake for the previous day, like this:

My First Post

Just in case there aren't enough fitness, diet and weight loss blogs out there.... I thought I'd throw another one into the mix.

I am primarily just interested in keeping a journal of my progress because (frankly) I've tried everything else. Maybe keeping a blog will help with accountability and motivation.

My story is pretty typical. I have lost and regained the same 24-40 pounds so many times, I wouldn't even be able to figure out how many diets I've started, how many times I've celebrated reaching the magical "goal weight", and how many times I've watched those numbers start to climb back up until I'm right back where I started (or a few pounds even worse off).

I won't bore you with all of the stories, but I will say that I have never gone on any specific diet, I usually accomplish my weight loss through a simple formula: decreased calorie intake and increased physical activity. This works well. Trust me, I am a PRO at losing weight. It's after I lose it that the trouble starts. In fact, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that I will reach my goal weight successfully, sometime next fall. This time, however, I have to do something to make sure the change is permanent. I can't think of one other thing that I could do differently, except keep this blog up to date...

I already workout. I see a personal trainer twice a week for 1 hour to do strength training. In addition, I do cardio 2-3 times per week. Right now for cardio, I have joined a learn to run program and am hoping to do a 5km run at the beginning of July.

I keep a food journal. I pretty much always have. Sometimes on-line, sometimes in a little notebook that I carry around with me. Over the years, I have become very aware of the nutritional profiles of most common foods (and so I can't claim ignorance for my numerous relapses). I know what healthy eating looks like, and I can often go for long periods with no upsets, but then something will happen - an event, a party, a special dinner out, a night at home alone - and everything will fall apart. Instead of just picking up where I've left off the next day (with probably no harm done) I spiral out of control for weeks eating everything in my path. It's startling how quickly you can gain 20 pounds!