Day 67 - Don't ever let yourself get too COCKY!!

Just when I think I have this binging thing licked, it comes out of nowhere and bites me in the ass!!

I had a HORRIBLE day yesterday. Actually, I had a great day, up until about 7pm, the time of our reservation at a trendy little Italian Restaurant. After that, I completely crumbled!

The most embarrassing part was that after we got home from the restaurant, and I had finished eating my big meal, with dessert.... while my husband was upstairs putting the kids to bed, I ate more!! I wasn't even hungry, and I can't even articulate why I did it... but I did.

Had I ended my day after the restaurant meal I would have racked up 2145 calories (high, but not unreasonable for a meal out), but I didn't, I continued on and ate 914 more calories after I got home!!!

Let's work through the day to see if I can identify what happened to derail me so much...

I tried to pare down my breakfast and lunch slightly to accommodate more calories at dinner (not drastically, but a little). When I got home from work at about 4:30, my plan was to exercise for an hour. I got on my elliptical trainer and did about 5 minutes, I was HUNGRY, and had absolutely no energy... so I gave up on it (mistake #1?).

Because I was so hungry, and dinner was still hours away, I decided to have a snack. I was already feeling the urge to have something naughty at this point... but I resisted, I ate a plum and a half a cucumber.

At the restaurant, I decided to have what I want (within reason). Somebody else ordered a tray of shared appetizers, and I had a small amount (a few zucchini sticks, a few pieces of calamari and I split a slice of bruschetta with my husband). I had a piece of bread from the breadbasket, but I used butter (from one of those little packets) instead of the oil and vinegar (even though I prefer the oil and vinegar) because the butter is easier to portion and measure out.

For dinner, I avoided anything with a cream sauce which was hard at this restaurant (the chef really likes cream, apparently) and I had veal marsala. Everyone else was getting dessert, but I didn't get my favorite (tiramisu)... instead, I had ice cream which is easier to count, and my husband had a few bites.

Oh... and I had a glass of wine.

Ironically, if I hadn't binged when I got home, and had the tiramisu (which I really wanted), I probably still would have come in with less calories then I did. Of course there would have always been the danger that I would have had the tiramisu and still binged, which would have been even worse again.

So, when no was looking at home, I ate a few of those things I'm always craving, but rarely indulge in (because I have trouble controlling myself).... dates stuffed with peanut butter, reese's pieces, cookies... etc...

I went to bed feeling uncomfortable and angry with myself.

If there is a silver lining at all to any of this... here are a couple of positive's

- Some of my past binges have been much worse!
- I did make OK choices at the restaurant (given what I had to work with).
- I was doing very well already this week, and I have three full days before weigh in to address any damage.
- When I woke up this morning, I still felt thin, and looked the same as yesterday, and my jeans still fit (e.g. one bad day doesn't make you fat... only if you string them together).
- I am back on track today, and I have long run planned tonight.
- Maybe it will shock my metabolism into speeding up?? (that one might be a stretch... or just wishful thinking! lol)

Well that's it... I can't think of anything else that's positive from this.

In the spirit of full disclosure... even thought I'm horribly ashamed of it... here is what I ate yesterday in BLACK and WHITE!!!